Spring Breaka My Banka

Spring Break 2011 thus far has been a little bit overwhelming.. what was supposed to be spent in bed sleeping every hour of the day away is now consumed by constantly being busy and having things to do! I don't want to complain though because I am young and full of energy, and it has been well worth it! I have met new friends, seen old ones, saw an amazing concert, regurgitated whiskey, went to sleep at 8 am.. more than once. saw three lambs come into the world (very gooey and not quite how I had always imagined it), saw a big very bright moon, ate spumoni, and finally slept in until 1! Now the rest of the break starts.. two dollar pints, the beach, the mountain, (sleep somewhere in between), and buying my very first shake weight! ha... joke. 
some pictures and video (VERY limited) of spring breaka my banka so far:

on one of the early morning/late nights after Girl Talk we went to the top of Mt. Tabor park and watched the city wake up, and the weird early morning joggers (psychos) (picture blurry baaad)

first climb attempt

enlisted Josh for help

mini man ladder

feelin so cool. he would have stayed there all morning it seemed


WATCH MY PHONE FAIL AT GIRL TALK.. IT IS PRICELESS!!!

Yay for GIRL TALK on ST. PAT's! Best Night...

Colder Weather

"You're a ramblin' man,

 You aint ever gonna change,

you've got a gypsy soul to blame,

and you were born for leaving."

"Well it's a winding road when you're in the lost and found

You're a lover, I'm a runner,

and we go round and round

and I love you but I leave you

I dont want you but I need you

but, you know it's you who calls me back here"

--Zac Brown Band

Presidents are assholes

Long long weekend.. but not long enough! Last night got home from work and the boys were still lurkin! As I had originally thought I was too tired I suppose I was very wrong... played drinking card games for hours and then burrito boy had the best of us.. successful night of the same old thing!


and yet... what's my conclusion? I love my mother ducking friends.. couldn't be luckier. couldn't be happier.

Hammock Time

I think its time to make the hammocks swing... spring time! Which means that summer has got her ticket and is ready to board!

Sleep in the middle

Lost inside my head, looking at the empty side of my bed. I feel this all without you, I keep thinking because I don't want to lose what I loved about you. I've got all this space now, space that you once occupied even when you were gone. It's all mine now, this world that I was so accustomed to sharing with you..
You were something else I will admit. I remember what you told me, which now I wish only to forget.
Standing in the cold sun, smoking quiet cigarettes. It was just before I let you down. It's funny how a heart shatters all at once, it seems like it should make a sound. 


I suppose I lost the will to fight. I guess it's because I didn't have the time to get it straight in my mind, to catch up and see that I was blind. I wish I was wrong, and still I write.


It seems we always recognize love after the fact. We did what we did, and that was that.
I would say that I'm sorry if it would do any good, but to never regret means that you have to forget, and I don't think that I could..


Lately mornings are always like the morning after, clothes from bodies that make naked, yet it's always me alone before and thereafter.
There is a world of people somewhere else out there, following their bliss, living easy getting kissed. 


I found the coins you gave me when we were first in bloom, when I thought that you might save me, but I was wrong to assume. We were always walking, and then your bed and our sparks became a flume. We never did stop talking, and still when you enter, you light up the room.


Now every morning is like the one before, my clothes without yours lay unwanted on the floor. But in our friendship I wish for you to be my youth, to be my wait until, to be the truth and the laugh that fulfill.


I breathe through it, I write a list of my desires, I make a toast, I make a wish, I slash tires and I paint a heart repeating..


I could think of a million ways you proved you weren't the one. So, you keep your lonely heart and never mind taking part.

Crystal Castles

Roseland Theatre, Sunday, 3. 6. 2011

A dude walks on stage and gets everyone to quiet down, he then announces that Alice has broken her ankle and the doctor has advised her to not continue the tour...to which Alice replied: "FUCK THAT!"..  ... and so the show started. Honestly it was one of the best concerts I have seen in a long time, the creativity of it all was refreshing. Not once was Alice spotlighted on stage, instead the audience captured her through the flashing lights, dancing and moving like a mad woman with a casted broken ankle and a crutch! She would fall into the crowd and sing at them on top of someone's shoulders. Alice Glass is by far one of the most captivating performers I have ever seen. ah if only to relive it again, right now.

---> A video I took on my phone from the balcony, it does not do the sound or Alice justice, but it is nostalgic:

All men kill the thing they love-- Oscar Wilde

do you remember the times? in the river kissing, sitting on a drum in the back room, in the bathroom at the bar, around the corner as the brick watched us fade and collide. memories run like clips from old movies. 

the scene when I pulled in at the farm and you were in the field with my father, I walked through the tall grass in that red dress, and something inside of you melted. or the clip of us there in the pool over fourth of july weekend, with my feet in the water I sat top-less on the side, my wet hair sticking to my shoulders, exhaling smoke with a smile as you stood in the water between my legs.

wild and unpredictable, like that weekend we went to van. when we got lost in seattle and got found at the needle. the clip is only fifteen seconds, we're at the top drunk and smoking, pointing at the city like a map of where we were going next. remembering you watch me as I danced at the gay bar in capitol hill, you sat against the wall and smiled. then when you took my hand, we were leaving, smoking, calling the cab... fast forward as our driver takes us to the marina, stripping down and laughing, I watch you escape naked, into the puget sound. 

hungover and unmotivated we were back on the road. images. dressing in the van with the windows down. pulling me towards you to kiss at 70 miles an hour. my feet out the window, my cigarettes on the dash, the sun seducing my skin, and from behind my sunglasses I watched you sing. 

or the clip in the parking garage on my 22nd birthday, an hour late, a little high, and a drunk kiss against the cement as drunk wanderers walked by and whistled.

that's what my past is, moving images of time. I wish there was sound, I wish they kept their smell, I wish they didn't keep losing color.  I can't help but try to touch them, the images of your hands in my hair, your freckled wet skin in the water, the hair on your chest under my fingers in the hot mornings as my lips mapped a road between your stomach and the pulse on your neck.

the images.

did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?

you killed the thing you love. the girl with her hair in a mess with her head on your chest, the barefoot girl with a summer smile, with no makeup on swimming in the wild, the girl who could make you laugh when she didn't know she was being funny, the girl who was there when everyone else failed.

the girl is still barefoot, dancing in her red dress. 

you killed the memories, you didn't kill me.

Fly Away

You came with the season as the first swallow sang, a blonde headed stranger with a five letter name. We planted our kisses where the wild berries grow, my feet sprouted wings and I flew all the way home, my cheeks red like fire engines racing straight to the heat of your skin.


I knew our days were numbered, I'm a bird of the summer, and I'll fly south just as the fall begins.


The leaves changed their color and the school yards were filled, my coat with the patches barely keeps out the chill. 


I wish it were warmer and I hope you're the same.


The fields where we wandered were golden, and now they only muddy my boots. And I know I should recover, I'm a bird of the summer, you were wrong to try to capture me.


I met someone walking in the park by the lake, he don't fly like you did, but he don't fly away. Gone is the pale hand of winter, here is the first flush of may, and soon you will discover whether birds of the summer fly in circles or just fly away...