MirFuzz,

I am so grateful for Mr. Fain Mcgough, because of him I have the most beautiful friend/soul sister/ confidant/main squeeze/best friend in the world. You inspire me with your beauty and grace. Your laughter and its infectious ways has a hold on me like I hope to someday have on a lover. Your warmth and understanding has guided and kept me when I honestly felt more lost than I thought possible. No amount of miles can separate the love that keeps our friendship alive, no amount of time can affect the effortless connection and   honest relationship that we have built. You make me want to dance, to make mistakes worth making, and live more truly and content as the person I am. I would share you with a boyfriend again in another life if it meant gaining you as a friend. I hope tonight, tomorrow and the rest of your life you dance, sing and make the room colorful as you always do. The world is a prettier place because of you (cheesy but oh-so-fucking-true). I love you, since September 2003 till I kick the bucket and you swing your legs. Happy Birthday sex kitten! I miss you!

Business

I just don't believe in making business decisions about love, "It's good for me, he treats me well," I'd rather make a poor man's decision to have the lesser and still have it all.

Tied Down Kind of Girl

Four years ago I was in a bathroom in a basement, lights outside, rushed to legacy.
A year ago I was in a black and white bed tapering his hair with my finger tips, feeling the skin on his stomach as his eyes traced the corners of my hips.  Laughing on the kitchen counter over a spliff and the constant argument of Jiff versus Skippy. You always loved Skippy. I cleaned the dishes in the sink, I folded your clothes and got into bed. Waking up early to let kitty in. A black and white comforter covering your bone skinny body, that straight tooth smile, I knew I would break it. 
I feel like it all happened within ten minutes, from the moment you got home from Hawaii, we had a minute in my apartment and then we were on the hill, but it wasn't us together, it was me dancing alone to the beat of the drum. I craved it, that feeling of being without, of being taken and being seduced by freedom. You left me, you went back. I dare not leave the only place where I find my true escape. 
I never told you.. I ran my fingers up his back, I drew stars and hearts on his skin with my hands. 
It happened without warning, the quick manner in which he grabbed my face and kissed me. 
I left you in anger and found him in repose. I needed someone who wanted my fire, the deep yearning desire to fulfill someone with everything I am. 
I never looked back.
That feeling up my spine, the dark bar and the loud music. He asked me to follow, to get in the van, I sat on the front steps listening to music I was so confused, within hours you went from being my world to being my deepest kept regret. 
He did what you never could.
He would listen to me as I talked about the smell of the rain on the pavement, how it smelled when I was little. He hugged me as he inhaled his cigarette, I could feel his heart jumping through his shirt, through my skin, on those warm July nights. 
We wrapped ourself in the comforter out front in the chair, smoking cigarettes and whispering until we retired to be tangled limbs in his soft room.
I know the curve of his body because I'd watch it when he walked, he was the life of the party, always showing off. I'd shine my crooked smile behind my messy hair, and he'd grab me and breathe me in. The smell of salty summer skin, the taste of smoke on his bottom lip. If it was all a joke, I was laughing.
I loved his handshake meeting my father, the sound of old paint on farm houses, the taste of tea and the sound of bees. Or how he would kiss me when I was in the middle of saying...

I'll never be a tied down girl

don't make plans

I remember when I listened to that song, thinking of you in your brightest of shades, and when the lights went down there you were, a golden face and a heart so red I could feel mine race.


if I ever left this town
I'd never settle down
I'd just be wandering around
if I ever left this town..
if I wasn't by your side
I'd never be satisfied
nothing would feel just right
if I wasn't by your side




cause I'm not easy to understand
but you know me like the back of your hand





but I know you like the back of my hand
you've got a heart of gold and a piece of land




I'll be your girl if you'll be my man

On the Roof.

a vivid image of me on the roof as you begged me to come down and kiss you. those brown shoulders. my bare feet.


It's sunny where I am. 


your fingers shifting my sundress, my legs hugging your waist. 


I need nothing from you except your warm brown freckled shoulders.

Spring Broke 2011.. the other half...

Well well well.. it is a week and a half later and I have finally recovered, hold for the consistent adolescent lifestyle I live down here.. but what happened the rest of the time over Spring Break?? Digital scrap-booking from my terrible remembery factory.. I'm concerned because it definitely broke down..

Normal Tuesday at East Burn that I lovingly attended after shots and brews at the Green Dragon.. Karaoke at Chopsticks, which some of us faintly remember..  thank god our fourtet singalong to 5o Ways to Leave Your Lover wasn't recorded.. then it was a long drive home with Richard to LO but I remember very much enjoying his company as we bla bla blabbed... hmmm.. what else?

Karaoke to Beyonce's "Single Ladies" Half Mast

Welp I sure know that I went to the beach with my bestest friend/ sister Aboo.. as for what I don't remember due to us finishing an entire fifth between the two of us... you can watch my own demise...

The saddest and best part.. there are about 8 more of these videos.. different genre every time...

Then I took a drunk shower.. and then I sat outside in the grass..

some photo scrap-booking: 

That's disgustingly gross, but so well prepared!

Jellyfishin Jellyfishin!

Bunnies EVERYWHERE!

Aboo!

haystack

Red Cup+ Wind= No more adult drink

Dancin on a cliff to doom

HA! cross eyed betty

Boo cruelly took pictures of my dancing.. blacked out. smush face, very attractive.

Unfortunately with a hangover and sandy boots, we had to go home..

I went home to a fun dinner, amazing blazer game seats and a win, beautiful view from The Nines...

Then to the mountain.. which turned into a night of camping and icing Josh repeatedly.. oh it never gets old.

Yeah that wasn't so hot as far as memory goes.. but I suppose it got the job done.

Oh wait.. Then Sunday night in good fun before the first day of my last term of school, I went out to celebrate my wonderful friend's (who I will leave unnamed) birthday.. Watch this.. it is called hit or miss, three shots vodka, three shots water.. no order involved. It is like murder on a 21st birthday.. they did this to him twice in a row..

btw: I had no part in this birthday boy.. except for harshly recording this..