the want to see all the beauty that makes you weep, but doesn't have to make you weak

time starts closing, I see the end of this year and the start of getting out of here. I'm anxious to start on my own, to own five more horses, to dress for halter shows, and be in the country that has open eyes, unlike these university walls and city bars.

there, have it! silly head and laughing heart, you've awoken the write in me. the night is once again mine.

it still isnt real.

this insistence of space.

I am a grinning child, an immature adult, a woman with a plan to use my head. I do think that moods command you if you don't know what you're going through.

I do this thing where I think I'm real sick
but I won't go to the doctor to find out about it
cause they make you stay real still in a real small space
as they chart up your insides and put them on display.
they'd see all of it, all of me, all of it..

it can be said that I choose sadness, that it never once has chosen me. I call bullshit on that card. I laugh in the face of anything that isn't happiness.

I am flawed if I'm not free, can you still feel the same for me?