What I Wouldn't Do

Put myself down tonight, thought the reading would help, but it only creates the desire to write..

I know if he were here I'd sleep sound, he'd be awake and I'd be asleep, waking every so often to create the facade that I'm not asleep. There is no fooling a man that fools me. 

Oh what I wouldn't do if I could just ask you babe, to lace your hands around the small of my back, I would kiss you like a king, I'd be like a bride. But I would be everything that a bride isn't, because it would be me and I have no want of being a bride. If I wished for the future maybe I could fashion myself as a bride. But as you know, I wish for childhood so I fashion myself as a child. I can't sit still, I can't shut up, I can't stop wondering, I can't stop asking questions. Silence is never good for someone who is young at heart.

But if I had you here, I would sing. But I wouldn't sing for fear of breaking the mirror or crushing your eardrum. So, instead I would mouth the words to a slow song, watching you.

Coming out of this night daze, while I dream you here so I'm not alone.. Trying to make it so we are alright. But, then I remember.. outside of being an ignorant child, we've got shoes...

Quick kid quips, I'm so harsh and cynical. Your touch is stricken, cold and clinical. This is such a transformation to behold. I don't like this new, I want the old...

It's nothing you haven't said before, but it's how you say it now that has changed.. cold but sympathetic all the same.